


Colder Weather

by thinkwritexpress



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Song Lyrics, Songs, lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkwritexpress/pseuds/thinkwritexpress
Summary: Benny has some painful flashbacks.





	

_ She'd trade Colorado if he'd take her with him _

_ Closes the door before the winter lets the cold in, _

_ And wonders if her love is strong enough to make him stay, _

_ She's answered by the tail lights shining through the window pane _

“You’re always leaving Benny! You’re always the one that gets to walk away. Do you realize how lonely it gets, this house we built together? How lonely it is when my husband is gone? Benny, I love you. I need you around. Please, stay. Or don’t, and take me with you.” You’re pleading, tears in your eyes and you can see the pain in Benny’s expression as he cups your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin. 

“Chere, I love you, you know I do. But you know I have to go. Next time.” The promise of next time is an empty one. You both know he’ll never stay, not for long and he’ll never take you with him.

You turn away from him just as the tears begin to fall. “You’ll never change Benny Lafitte. It’s who you are, your curse. Our curse,” you whisper brokenly. Benny reaches for you but you move away and his hand drops to his side. With one last look at you, he shoulders his duffle and walks out, the front door clicking shut with echoed familiarity.

You tell yourself that you won’t watch him drive away this time, but not seconds later, you’re at the window, hand against the glass and tears streaming down your face as you watch the red tail lights disappear around the bend.

_ He said I wanna see you again _

_ But I'm stuck in colder weather _

_ Maybe tomorrow will be better _

_ Can I call you then? _

_ She said you're ramblin' man _

_ You ain't ever gonna change _

_ You got a gypsy soul to blame _

_ And you were born for leavin'. _

Your phone rings right on time, and when you answer, it’s him. “I won’t be home tonight chere, I’m sorry. I’ll be home soon. I can’t wait to see you.”

You chuckle humorlessly and shake your head, though he can’t see. “That might be true right now, but Benny, you come back for a few days then leave. It’s what you do, who you are. Don’t feel bad, babe. Just come home safe when you can.” Your voice is tired, and Benny winces. 

“I’m sorry sug. I promise, it’ll be soon. I gotta go now. I love you.” The phone disconnects before you can say the words back, and you let it flop on the couch, staring blankly at the television in front of you, your brain not processing what your eyes are seeing. 

The winter wind whips around outside, the branches of a tree hitting the window. The only sounds you hear are the lonely howling of the wind and the scratching of the branches on the glass, resonating with the emptiness growing inside you.

_ At a truck stop diner just outside of Lincoln, _

_ The night is black as the coffee he was drinkin', _

_ And in the waitress' eyes he sees the same ol' light a-shinin', _

_ He thinks of Colorado and the girl he left behind him _

Benny looks up from his mug of lukewarm coffee and smiles apologetically at the aging waitress. “I’m sorry ma’am. I know I should leave, but…” he trails off, looking for the words to explain, and there’s a knowing glint in her eyes that make him think of her, of home, setting off a pang of longing in his chest.

“It’s alright honey. You take your time. You look like you could use a break from the road.” She pats his hand and refills his coffee before bustling off to help someone else.

Benny pulls out his cellphone and scrolls through his contacts, his thumb hesitating over your name, hovering as he debates. He glances at the time and hits call, knowing the result already.

“Hey, you’ve reached (Y/N)’s voicemail…”

_ He said I wanna see you again _

_ But I'm stuck in colder weather _

_ Maybe tomorrow will be better _

_ Can I call you then? _

_ She said you're ramblin' man _

_ You ain't ever gonna change _

_ You got a gypsy soul to blame _

_ And you were born for leavin'. _

Benny stares down the dashboard of his car, eyeing the road in front of him. Left towards home, right towards something else, something new. For once, his heart is silent, and so is his head, offering no guidance on which path to take. Neither road will be an easy one, and something in his gut tells him this is an important decision.

One moment more of hesitation, and then he turns his blinker on and makes the turn, praying that it’s the right path.

_ Well, it's a winding road _

_ When you're in the lost and found _

_ You're a lover – I'm a runner _

_ And we go 'round 'n 'round _

_ And I love you but I leave you _

_ I don't want you but I need you _

_ You know it's you who calls me back here, baby _

There’s a snow-storm brewing as Benny climbs out of his car and makes his way towards where you are.

“You always said I’d never change, and darlin’ you’re more right than ever. I can never stay one place very long at all. I can’t even visit our home. Baby, I haven’t stopped there since the last time I left ya. I’m so sorry. You deserve better than me, chere. You deserve someone who’d stay for ya.” Tears stream down Benny’s face as he kneels down on the hard, cold ground, ignoring the snow flurries fluttering around him.

He lays the flowers down on the grave and presses his lips to the icy headstone. “Soon chere. Soon we’ll be together.” One last empty promise. He climbs into his car, the red tail lights fading, lost in the cold weather sweeping through the graveyard.

_ When I close my eyes I see you _

_ No matter where I am _

_ I can smell your perfume through these whispering pines _

_ I'm with your ghost again _

_ It's a shame about the weather _

Benny is kneeling down on the cold cement of some abandoned warehouse, and a peace settles over him as he looks up at the man about to bring his end. “I’m coming’ chere.” He whispers, and there’s the swoosh of a blade, and Benny is finally free to come home to you.

_ But I know soon we'll be together _

_ And I can't wait 'til then _

_ I can't wait 'til then _

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a challenge on tumblr a while ago, and it's short, but I love it, and it gives me feels.


End file.
